Match Report - 23/11/19
M5 vs US Portsmouth
Result: 0-5
MoM: The Whole Team!
Report:
Hissy fits! Teapots! Strops! Happily, they were not seen on the electric blue, red rimmed United Services Portsmouth (“USP”) pitch. They were noticeable in a week where the greatest achievement was Adrian Trim ensuring the 5s’ game went ahead, as all focus seemed to be the Alton local derby.
True. at one point, Alton might have had the full eleven, but as it was ten was the magic number, which once Jim Davies’s dodgy hamstring gave up the ghost was 9 1/2 at best – and that against the Division 8 leaders. So no pressure there.
On top of that Alton had to start the game without a keeper. In truth none was needed in the first ten minutes as USP, giddy at the sight of an open goal, showed all the shooting accuracy of a partially sighted fighter pilot…in a blindfold…on a moonless night. It was bizarrely only after Loon had battled through the retail hordes and donned his pads, kickers etc that USP started to score their five goals, three before the interval. Mind you Loon packed 70 minute’s action into 60 minutes – some might call that efficiency.
With Will Butler, Lloydie, Paddy Knight, Ben Horton, Michael New and Joe Yeadon absent Pete Tynan, Trimmer, George Litton and Leo Mills came in, a blend of experience and exuberance. Pete adopted the new position of minister without portfolio, playing everywhere but where the skipper wanted him. In fairness to Pete, he did give the USP goalkeeper his one touch of the ball, so it could be said he had a point. Trimmer was intent on giving his Fitbit a malfunction as he raced around in attack, yes raced, from left to right and up and down. His old school skills on a pitch that seemed to be more trampoline than astro meant he was one of the few on either side who could actually stop the ball. The young tyros enjoyed themselves. George Litton crackled and fizzed down the left like a supercharged Billy Whizz, whereas Leo Mills kept surprising himself by winning the ball in midfield.
Richard Housley and Martin Green were equally whizzy and seemingly involved in everything, with Martin clearly relishing the challenge of his new defensive role – maybe he felt he was not seeing much of the ball by being in attack? At sweeper come centre half Josh Cranston led the defence in the middle and his 16 and free-hit accuracy was as clinical as it was powerful. The ham-strung Jim Davies was reduced to defensive duties, but did so well Moff had not even noticed Jim was injured. To be fair to Moff his mind was on trying to mark two players simultaneously whose combined age (and probably weight) must have been less than his.
So, clearly Beckett’s advice about trying again and failing better was taken. It produced another typically hard working 5th XI performance in adversity; but there was just the nagging suspicion that a full eleven plus one substitute might have made a difference. Still, at least the 2s and 3s (or was it the 3s and 2s?) had enough substitutes for their local derby…
(P.S. MoM was a collective MoM – i.e. all ten players. The Tommy Cooper Award? Let’s just say it was not awarded to anyone who made the journey south).
Result: 0-5
MoM: The Whole Team!
Report:
Hissy fits! Teapots! Strops! Happily, they were not seen on the electric blue, red rimmed United Services Portsmouth (“USP”) pitch. They were noticeable in a week where the greatest achievement was Adrian Trim ensuring the 5s’ game went ahead, as all focus seemed to be the Alton local derby.
True. at one point, Alton might have had the full eleven, but as it was ten was the magic number, which once Jim Davies’s dodgy hamstring gave up the ghost was 9 1/2 at best – and that against the Division 8 leaders. So no pressure there.
On top of that Alton had to start the game without a keeper. In truth none was needed in the first ten minutes as USP, giddy at the sight of an open goal, showed all the shooting accuracy of a partially sighted fighter pilot…in a blindfold…on a moonless night. It was bizarrely only after Loon had battled through the retail hordes and donned his pads, kickers etc that USP started to score their five goals, three before the interval. Mind you Loon packed 70 minute’s action into 60 minutes – some might call that efficiency.
With Will Butler, Lloydie, Paddy Knight, Ben Horton, Michael New and Joe Yeadon absent Pete Tynan, Trimmer, George Litton and Leo Mills came in, a blend of experience and exuberance. Pete adopted the new position of minister without portfolio, playing everywhere but where the skipper wanted him. In fairness to Pete, he did give the USP goalkeeper his one touch of the ball, so it could be said he had a point. Trimmer was intent on giving his Fitbit a malfunction as he raced around in attack, yes raced, from left to right and up and down. His old school skills on a pitch that seemed to be more trampoline than astro meant he was one of the few on either side who could actually stop the ball. The young tyros enjoyed themselves. George Litton crackled and fizzed down the left like a supercharged Billy Whizz, whereas Leo Mills kept surprising himself by winning the ball in midfield.
Richard Housley and Martin Green were equally whizzy and seemingly involved in everything, with Martin clearly relishing the challenge of his new defensive role – maybe he felt he was not seeing much of the ball by being in attack? At sweeper come centre half Josh Cranston led the defence in the middle and his 16 and free-hit accuracy was as clinical as it was powerful. The ham-strung Jim Davies was reduced to defensive duties, but did so well Moff had not even noticed Jim was injured. To be fair to Moff his mind was on trying to mark two players simultaneously whose combined age (and probably weight) must have been less than his.
So, clearly Beckett’s advice about trying again and failing better was taken. It produced another typically hard working 5th XI performance in adversity; but there was just the nagging suspicion that a full eleven plus one substitute might have made a difference. Still, at least the 2s and 3s (or was it the 3s and 2s?) had enough substitutes for their local derby…
(P.S. MoM was a collective MoM – i.e. all ten players. The Tommy Cooper Award? Let’s just say it was not awarded to anyone who made the journey south).